Friday, May 20, 2011

25. Long conversations with grandparents

I thought the 25th think I'm thankful for deserved it's own post...

I sat today looking at my cell phone debating whether I was going to call my grandmother. I had not talked to her in several months and I did not call her on mother’s day. I wanted to talk to her, but I also wanted to be able to give her my full attention. I thought that talking to her on my lunch might cause me to cut the conversation short and I would not be able to just relax and read my book.

Ann V. in One Thousand Gifts talks about being completely present in each moment and enjoying each moment. I started thinking that I would have to make my moments if I am going to have them. I cannot just sit and wait for life to happen to me, so I decided to call my grandmother and I was so glad that I did.

I hope it gave her as much of a blessing as it gave me to spend a half an hour talking to her. She talked about the different homes she’s lived in--both in Canada and here in Arizona. At the end, she apologized for “talking my head off” but I am so glad she did. The moments where my grandparents recount their history are few and far between and I’m learning to cherish them more and more.

I’m trying not to feel guilty for not calling her as often as I should. I’m trying to think positive thoughts about the things I do do for my family and not about the things I should do, but don’t. My husband says I’m too hard on myself, but I hold myself to a very high expectation and I get very disappointed when I fall short. I am not a fan of the saying “shoot for the moon and if you miss at least you land among the stars.”

We’ll see...I’m getting there. One moment at a time.


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